Difference between revisions of "Mordor"
Revision as of 14:22, 1 April 2010
Thoroughly unpleasant. The region of Mordor has rarely been dealt a kind hand. Successive colonial powers have done little to clean the place up and there is still no functioning train service. The recent large scale eruption of Mount Doom, and the associated collateral damage just might (only might) encourage a more enlightened approach to development in the region.
At one stage, a distant ancestor of Viggo Mortensen had the chance to improve the standard of local infrastructure, but decided to be a king instead. Hugo Weaving was quite young at the time, but still showed his displeasure.
Mordor is surrounded on three sides by large mountain ranges: Ered Lithui (Ash Mountains) in the the north, Ephel Duath (Mountains of Shadow) to the west bordering the region of Gondor, and extending round to the south. Generally they are not very nice.
Orcish is the native tounge. Strangely similar to English.
One does not simply walk in to Mordor. You gotta rock in to Mordor. Or take the shortbus.
After the recent twinning with the city of Brussels, all citizens of countries who are signatories to the Schengen treaty, are granted an unlimited stay visa on arrival. Australians however, remain unwelcome.
Mordor is quite unique amongst A-list destinations in that it tends to see you rather better than you see it.
If you a meet a beardy bloke in a pointy hat, ignore everything he says. He will try to make you do something dangerous. He is quite persistent, and if he gets too annoying feed him to a Balrog. He may reappear a few weeks later looking all white and shiny, but don't be deceived as he will try to make you kill yourself again.
That warning aside, Mordor is an increasingly popular destination for active travellers who enjoy getting right off the beaten track.
Do not sleep in Mordor.
Mordor is a volatile region, and downright dangerous in the western areas. Non-essential travel is strongly discouraged. The Orc tribes have now declared abduction of foreigners to be one of their primary goals. Mordor has an ongoing border conflict with Gondor. It's not recommended to visit Ephel Dúath. The land is barren desert, and survival in the wilderness without proper equipment impossible.
While the south-eastern part of the country is generally considered to be a lot safer than the north and west, occasional incidents can still occur anywhere and a seemingly safe place can become the opposite in an instant. Several media reporters were killed in the northern parts of Mordor, most likely by criminals or a bored Nazgul.
Insects (especially spiders) and snakes are also something to be careful of, and the mountainous country has many vicious creatures such as scorpions, trolls, feral Orcs, etc.
In some areas, altitude sickness is a significant risk. Mount Doom is an active and unpredictable vulcano. It should not be approached without appropriate equipment.
If, after considering the risks, you still choose to travel in Mordor, hiring an armed escort or travelling with an experienced guide are ways to decrease the risks. You should also check with your embassy, and be clear on what they can and cannot do for you in an emergency. Emergency evacuations by eagle are always in demand and you may have a long wait.
It is highly recommended to buy a travel insurance before the trip, just in case.
Standards of hygiene in the region are generally extremely low and have been compared to those at Vang Vieng. The normal, stinking, crusty Caucasian traveller will feel well at home here, and it is unlikely you will be carrying too many diseases that the citizens of Mordor have not previously experienced.