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Mordor

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(Do)
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==Get out==
 
==Get out==
*In the talons of an eagle, back to the rather dull settlement at Minas Tirith  
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*In the talons of an eagle, back to the rather dull German settlement at Minas Tirith  
  
 
*Hardier, adventurous types might try a cruise in the Bay of Belfalas.
 
*Hardier, adventurous types might try a cruise in the Bay of Belfalas.

Revision as of 10:36, 1 April 2010

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Mordor (Sindarin: Black Land, Quenya: Land of Shadow) is located in South East Middle Earth to the east of the River Anduin.

Understand

Landscape

Mordor is surrounded on three sides by large mountain ranges: Ered Lithui (Ash Mountains) in the the north, Ephel Duath (Mountains of Shadow) to the west bordering the region of Gondor, and extending round to the south. Generally they are not very nice.

Talk

Orcish is the native tounge. Strangely similar to English.

Get in

One does not simply walk in to Mordor. You gotta ROCK in to Mordor. Or take the shortbus.

Get around

See

The peaks of Mordor are not be taken lightly

Do

  • Trekking through any of the Mordor ranges should not be taken lightly. An authorised, experienced guide is recommended. One agency in particular seems to have some success: precioussestours.com, but they do demand payment in gold rings and the lead guide can be a touch moody.

Buy

Eat

Drink

Sleep

Do not sleep in Mordor.

Contact

Get out

  • In the talons of an eagle, back to the rather dull German settlement at Minas Tirith
  • Hardier, adventurous types might try a cruise in the Bay of Belfalas.
This was an April Fool's Day joke article. We amused ourselves tremendously in making it. Please refrain from dragging out the silliness and plunge forward on some real articles!