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'''Margie's Java Joint'''
'''Margie's Java Joint'''
The only hipster coffee shop in town.
'''Your Place Coffee'''
'''Your Place Coffee'''
The less hip analogue to Margie's, a frequent hangout for Greeley Police and the Mayor.
'''Patrick's Irish Pub'''
'''Patrick's Irish Pub'''
The only real "bar" in Greeley. Stocks common drinks.
'''The Crabtree Brewery'''
'''The Crabtree Brewery'''
Once ridiculed for skunky beer and green batches, it has reached a level of quality so as to be on tap in several local establishments.

Revision as of 09:07, 20 September 2012

Greeley is a town in northern Colorado, approximately an hour north of Denver and an hour east of the Rocky Mountains. According to 2006 Census Bureau estimates, the population of Greeley is 98,596. Greeley is home to the University of Northern Colorado, with a student population of approximately 13,000. The most well-known event in the town is the annual Greeley Independence Stampede, which attracts an estimated 400,000 attendees every summer.

Get in

Greeley is accessible from I-25 from the north or south, via "HWY 34". Upon reaching Greeley's westernmost border with Johnstown, the road splits into "HWY 34" which bisects the city east and west along the Southwest Greeley Business Center or to "HWY 34 business route" which turns into 10th street that runs east to 10th avenue and the Weld County Courthouse.

The dangerous East Side is also accessible north through Eaton, Ault and eventually, Cheyenne, WY and from the South through Platteville, Peckham, and Brighton on "HWY 85".

Get around

Transportation in Greeley is car-focused, although there is a fairly inactive bus system focused on 8th and 11th avenue which is great for late-night bar runs, meeting homeless residents, and busking, but is generally ineffective as a means of reaching an employer. In the university area biking and walking are feasible alternatives. Farther to the extreme northeast horse travel is common and the penal transport bus runs regularly from the Weld County Detention Center on O Street non-stop to Canon City but is open only to persons in state custody.


Greeley Downtown

Features Centennial Park, the Rec Center, about 5 bars, Carl's Jr., curio shops, and the only officially licensed NASCAR outlet in Weld County, as well as a dedicated clock and timepiece store.


Union Colony Civic Center

Features racquetball, occasional concert performances, and pick-up basketball games*.

Travel Warning WARNING: Due to simmering racial tension and economic inequality, it is generally advised not to heckle or taunt players at pick-up basketball games. Such indescretion has been known to result in assault, battery, and rape..

'University of Northern Colorado

Known coliqually as "The University of No-Credit" due to its unwillingness to transfer credits to other public colleges, it has recently been retrofitted with an astro-turf football/soccer field and formerly served as the Denver Broncos' spring training location. Once-popular winter sledding activities common to the large incline on the west end of the campus have been curtailed by the installation of a large chain-link fence.

Union Colony Dinner Theatre

Features renditions of classic theatre productions like "West Side Story" and wedding-style fare based around your choice of beef, poultry, or "vegetarian".

Greeley Independence Stampede

Greeley's largest celebration featuring local and national concert acts, rodeos, food vendors, real military vehicles, Bob Marley and other ganja themed throw blankets, but no actual stampedes. This event has grown considerably safer due to increased police Gang Unit presence and increased evangelical activity staged by local churches.



Cinema and Lounge

A classy, upscale bar/movie theatre. The candies and popcorn are unfortunately props and not for sale, but the venue reportedly practices a lax policy of checking identification for alcohol purchases which is a boon to sales.


The Greeley Mall

Features the best and only Orange Julius in sprawling Weld County as well as upscale shopping at Angel's, JC Pennys, and Zumiez.

Visit at Christmas Time for photos with Santa.

The central corridor where the restrooms are located features a western-styled mural of the map of Weld County in an homage to the plains lifestyle.

The mall also features Greeley's other major movie theatre.


Travel west along "HWY 34" to visit this touted walking mall that straddles the border of Loveland and Johnstown and is not actually a part of Greeley. "'BBB Mart"''

Located on 8th Avenue, features Hispanic Products, Cowboy Hats, and Boots as well as ganja and gang themed apparel.

"'King Pawn'"

Next to BBB Mart on 8th Avenue, your stop for pawn loans, firearms, audio equipment, tools, and jewelry.

""East Africa Market"'

A local mercantile that is geared towards the city's growing Ethiopian and Somali population featuring dried produce, burlap, and talismans. Located on North 8th Avenue.


The Island Grill

A tiki styled establishment that also provides food for the Kress Cinema, frequently features local bands. A good location to meet potential partners.

3 Margaritas

A "family" styled Mexican restaurant which is considered safe, despite being located in an area traditionally associated with violent crime.

The Rio

Greeley's hangout for mom's and college co-eds looking to let their hair down, more well known for its Margaritas than food.

The Hobknobber

An Irish styled pub that features five unique menu items.


The only sushi restaurant in Greeley with Japanese chefs.

The Egg & I

A "greasy spoon" type chain operating out of strip malls.

Tacos Rapidos

A value-oriented authentic mexican restaurant on 8th Avenue that serves excellent food in spite of its poor food safety record.


Margie's Java Joint

The only hipster coffee shop in town.

Your Place Coffee

The less hip analogue to Margie's, a frequent hangout for Greeley Police and the Mayor.

Patrick's Irish Pub

The only real "bar" in Greeley. Stocks common drinks.

The Crabtree Brewery

Once ridiculed for skunky beer and green batches, it has reached a level of quality so as to be on tap in several local establishments.


Greeley has many upscale lodging options like the Clarion Hotel and Conference Center, Super 8 Motel, Days Inn, and Motel 6.

Common amenities are:

-modular air temperature control
-hot plate
-color tv
-HBO and Cable
-towels and toiletries

Many hotels in neighboring Evans may be accessed after hours and without ID.


All Greeley phone numbers can be found in the Yellow Pages which is available at many local businesses.

Non-emergency police calls can be directed to 970-350-9600.

The Weld County Court can be reached at 970-336-7235.

Stay safe

Travel Warning WARNING: Greeley was once considered a hotbed for gang activity. Also dangerous is the militarized wing of the police force. It is common to encounter either or both of these at any social gathering after dark. Both should be considered heavily armed and are best avoided.

Greeley is a conservative town with dangers of verbal or physical assault, murder, or rape especially high for Gays, Lesbians, Transgendered Persons, Jews, Muslims, African-Amercans, Asian-Americans, women, hispanics, and political leftists OR caucasian males perceived to be any of these.

Get out

Routes through Greeley
GranbyLoveland  W noframe E  LairdFort Morgan
CheyenneEaton  N noframe S  BrightonDenver

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