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Port Clarendon

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Upper Caisse : Port Clarendon
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This was an April Fool's Day joke article. We amused ourselves tremendously in making it. Please refrain from dragging out the silliness and plunge forward on some real articles!

Port Clarendon is a port city in Upper Caisse, Serriffe.

Understand

Port Clarendon is the former capital of an unsuccessful secessionist movement which briefly established the nation of Serriffe in both Lower Caisse and most of Upper Caisse (except for a small reef off Cocobanana Beach known as the Diacriticals). This dogmatically atheist government (hence the removal of "San" from the name) was driven from the island by forces loyal to national hero Antonio Bourgeois (for whom the country's only airport is named).

Get in

The port city can be reached by donqtuque on scenic Highway 1, now with dirt tracks running in both directions. Banana and pineapple freighters call frequently, and you may be able to arrange passage on these by bribing the dockhands in produce-importing ports around the region. Several passenger ferries have arrived successfully from Lower Caisse in recent years.

Get around

See

Do

Buy

Eat

Drink

Longtime watering hole Vaclav Ricardo's Biergarten (37 Highway 1, Port Clarendon) remains a local favorite, despite intense competition from the new T.G.I.Fridays and Hard Rock Cafe across the street.

Sleep

The booths at the back of Vaclav Ricardo's Biergarten are surprisingly comfortable.

Get out

Good idea. You can take your chances with a ferry ride to Lower Caisse or make your way north to Bodoni. Most visitors prefer to swim out to the first passing freighter they see.

This was an April Fool's Day joke article. We amused ourselves tremendously in making it. Please refrain from dragging out the silliness and plunge forward on some real articles!



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