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Flaccid Peninsula National Park

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This was an April Fool's Day joke article. We amused ourselves tremendously in making it. Please refrain from dragging out the silliness and plunge forward on some real articles!
The Flaccid Peninsula during Winter

Flaccid Peninsula National Park is an occasionally popular region of You. It's one of the few rapidly moving land masses on Earth, and completely changes direction almost daily... it can go from a calm southerly position to more of a north-northwest in a matter of seconds. While many enjoy their visit to the Peninsula, others fear it like the plague and believe setting foot there, especially early in life, leads straight to Hell.




Dense forest cover the northern most region known as the Harry Woodlands. However this region may at times be subject to massive deforestation. Across the bay, on the mainland is a swampy area known as the Testiglades.

Flora and fauna[edit]

Depending on the time of year and/or frequency of visits an abundance of shrubbery can be found around pelvis point. If not properly tended to the park can be overrun.


Fairly warm climate, period of warmer and wet weather occur when the peninsula faces north.

Get in[edit]

Entry into the capital city, Point Conception (see map), is strictly prohibited. Visitors are however encouraged to explore the surrounding areas outside the city.


Get around[edit]

There are no speed limits, but avoid excessive speeds in dry conditions.


  • The Spitzer monument of flagging flaccidity. 9 Emperor VIP road, Mayflower 817. Erected, March 2008.
  • Mushroom Mountain. An active volcano; white hot lava streams out at rates of 45 miles per hour. Watch out.


-Treat the landscape with care.

-Approach with caution.


-Protective gear. -Safety measures.


Although something of an acquired taste, peninsula milk is rich in protein and vitamins. Most visitors to the peninsula prefer to taste rather than swallow the local speciality. Some visitors do prefer to use the milk for facial treatments. Recent studies show that regular consumption of Flaccid Peninsula Milk prevents breast cancer.


Avoid drinking the liquid at all costs.


The whiskey crop on the Peninsula has been known to cause a rare form of "Landmass Narcolepsy" and prevents the regions frequent earthquakes.




Lots of undocumented experimentation has gone on in this region. Exploration of this region had previously (and is still) somewhat of a taboo, but recent developments show that most if not all individuals enjoy exploring this area.

Stay safe[edit]

purchase a close fitting raincoat when possible. Also a closed toed pair of shoes on the beach should be used as protection from the Native Crab population.

Get out[edit]

  • Dildo — an option when Flaccid doesn't quite hit the spot
  • Dingle Peninsula — the Irish counterpart to Flaccid
  • Fucking — a pleasant Austrian rural village for the hard-up traveller

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