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Atlantis

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This was an April Fool's Day joke article. We amused ourselves tremendously in making it. Please refrain from dragging out the silliness and plunge forward on some real articles!
Another day in Atlantis

Atlantis is the capital of the Kingdom of Atlantica. It is the only underwater capital city in the world.

Understand[edit]

Map of Atlantis, however, it might not be up to date

Atlantis is an unique destination in Atlantica. It is governed by King Poseidon MMXXXVIII. It is also a very unpopular tourist destination, as visas can cost up to 100,000 gold doubloons each.

History[edit]

On March 41st, 1,000,000 BC, King Poseidon I created the Kingdom of Atlantica, proclaiming the capital city Atlantis. Atlantis allegedly sunk to the bottom of the ocean when the classified Eureka!-project led by Archimedes went horribly wrong. It is also suspected rumored that the New World Order had something to do with that event. Among the first tourists was the Greek philosopher Plato.

Talk[edit]

The official language is Ancient Greek, although dolphin clicks are also a very common dialect in Atlantis.

Get in[edit]

Travel Warning
Visa Restrictions:

The Demonic People's Republic of Hell blocks passports containing stamps or visas from Atlantica. Relations between Rutherford B. Hades (President of Hell) and King Poseidon MMXXXVIII have been strained after the lightning bolt theft incident. If you plan to travel to Hell after visiting Atlantis, you must get a second passport.

Diving offers a more intimate entrance into Atlantis

To get in to Atlantis you will need a valid visa and diving equipment. Visas are only available through the embassy in Bikini Bottom. They can cost up to 100,000 Gold Doubloons, so seeking asylum is by far the best way into Atlantis.

By submarine[edit]

Some submarines are known to transport visitors to and from Atlantis. Prices are, however in the same class with tickets to space.

By plane[edit]

Atlantis International Airport is connected by regular flights from Bermuda operated by Triangle Airlines and Lost Soul Airlines. The return ticket will, however be virtually impossible to get. There are also non-stop flights from Mount Olympus and Troy.

By train[edit]

Atlantis Train Station is served by 5000mph maglev trains coming from New York City and London via the Transatlantic Tunnel. From London's Kings Cross Station, take the train from Platform 9 ¾. From New York Grand Central Station, trains leave from the "secret" sub-basement known as M42.

By diving[edit]

The backpacker's alternative - cheap and reliable. If you take your own sail boat it'll be very cheap.

By teleport[edit]

Cheap as free! Just close your eyes and wish really hard. Next thing you know you are there!

By ruby slippers[edit]

Close your eyes, click your heels. Then just keep saying "There is no place like home, there's no place like home..." However, this is a very unreliable source of travel to Atlantis. Many travelers have reported opening there eyes only to find they had teleported to an abandoned farm in Kansas.

Get around[edit]

By subway[edit]

Atlantic Avenue Station: The Atlantis Subway System suffers from neglect and mismangement.

Thousands of years ago, Atlantis was renowned for its cutting-edge mass transit system, but centuries of neglect, mismanagement, and extensive use have taken their toll. Vehicles are noisy and break down on a regular basis, the interiors are crowded, and the drivers can be very rude. On top of that, with recent budget cuts the fares keep rising. But the system is extensive and will eventually get you where you need to go.

By car[edit]

Traffic is surprisingly light, given that road blockages can be cleared by just swimming up and over. Seahorse carriages are available, but are expensive and more of a tourist attraction than a legitimate way to get around.

See[edit][add listing]

Panposeidium
  • Ancient Greek architecture - from palaces to amphitheaters, well preserved.
  • Panposeidium - the royal palace. King Poseidon MMXXXVIII greets the residents from the balcony every Thursday at noon. On Atlantis's independence day the beautiful national anthem [1] is played by the original British compositors in the front of Panposeidium. You should definitely not miss this if you happen to be in town then.
  • Marine species - Atlantis is a real paradise for Marine biologists.
  • Heureka museum, [2]. A museum dedicated to Archimedes who managed to sink Atlantis to the bottom of the ocean.  edit

Do[edit][add listing]

  • Under the Sea Boogie - The Annual Dance held in November, providing folks with a good way to get down!
  • Mermaid Hunting - Well, that's pretty much self-explanatory...
  • Thermal Tubs - Atlantis is known for some real good natural spa therapy. Ask any local where the 24/7 hot tubs. Be sure not to jump in the one that's boiling.

Eat[edit][add listing]

The local delicacies include fish in various forms. Mc Donald's also recently opened a restaurant at Plato Boulevard 1. There are also, naturally, a number of Subway franchises in Atlantis.

  • Python's Inn, (follow the Vikings), [3]. 24/7. Local cuisine, eg. fish dishes. Also serves dolphin, seahorse, mermaid, and sea unicorn. cheap.  edit

Drink[edit][add listing]

You just open your mouth and voila! However, if you don't feel like drinking un-filtered salt water that's infested with fish urine, we recommend drinking the national Atlantican drink.... Cod liver oil!

Sleep[edit][add listing]

Budget[edit]

  • The Rusty Serpent, 0000000000 Mermaid Road, Atlantis, 88888, +22 22222 2222. A great place for travelers on a budget. Not responsible for any rodents that end up in hotel food. 0.00000000001 Gold Doubloons per night.  edit

Mid-Range[edit]

  • Neptune Hotel, 12345678987654321 Plato Street, Atlantis, 11111, +11 11111 1111. It's Something. Over 9000 Gold Doubloons per night (9006 to be exact).  edit

Splurge[edit]

  • Atlantis Resort, 6000000000 Titanic Road, Atlantis, 00001, +00 00000 0000, [4]. Great location, next to the Atlantis casino. Excellent service. Each hotel room comes with its own olympic sized pool, private zoo, theme park, private garden the size of Rhode Island, and gym (also the size of Rhode Island). It's not cheap, though. To put it in perspective, Bill Gates would go bankrupt after spending about 3 nights there. 1,000,000 Gold Doubloons per night.  edit

Stay safe[edit]

Crime is non-existent, but it is always good to have your wits about you. Also, don't forget that you are under water.

Contact[edit]

•Atlantican embassy to the Republic of Spongebobia (1 Squidward Way, Bikini Bottom, Spongebobia)

Get out[edit]

  • Before you run out of air.



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